Garbo

ok i tried to post this review on http://groups.google.com/group/rentalmoviebloggers?pli=1 which again you all should check out. and please don't not check it out because of this review because they're usually shorter and better, specially everyone elses. seriously. we're all on there too, so pls check it out, add your input, it's awesome. never had this happen before but can't get it to post so just to be the obstinate bastard that i am i'm going to post it here. thank ya, thank ya very much!

ok, we've been on a documentary kick..... this movie is about Greta Garbo (Greta Guffstatsen) 1905-1990. i could write a book here so i'll try to be brief. this is about her life and the effects of movie history on her and by her. it is fantastic and very imformative, especially if you're into this sort of thing, which I am. her career ended at age 36 when she quit but said she would come back at a later time. of course breen (see pre-code movies) made sure her last footage was a screen test on 5/25/49. which she looked beautiful and full of life in. this of course was brought about by his assinine views of women but mostly was contributed to her film queen christina (which to me would be the real first movie to have women kiss, so personally, good for fricken her! and she played a bi-sexual another first as well and dressed in pants).. but ironically even more so by the film Karinena. garbo felt camile was her best performance. she played oposite john gilbert (which they didn't allow to even be mentioned in the trailor) and joseph breen even managed to get a scene where she walks around the room looking at all the art and comments on it out of the movie because that implied they had slept together. but the final scene is her standing perfectly still at the head of the boat. she is radiating overwhelming emotion and she isn't even moving. proving once again that "you didn't need all those words when you had garbos eyes". this is now considered a masterpiece btw.  and thus we were robbed of her contributions from 1949 or later.
there is alot of information in this documentary and i am so tempted to make a huge review but will digress. a few things. she was a very private person that tried very hard to distance herself from the studio, she couldn't return to live in sweeden because it was to hard to hide. there was only one press conference with her and that was pleading to leave her alone. there was one interview they called the one word interview because the poparazzi jumped on the running board of her car and she said damn!
sufficeth to say, she got screwed by the studio especially breen (he was good at that) making her view of the studios as unhuman. she was private and that made her all the more wanted by the public. she was in the last silent movie 1929 "the kiss". she had talent, she even played an english woman with a russian accent, this was grand hotel 1932, her acting mirrored the publics image of her real self but per family the first comedy 1939 "Ninotchka" was the closest version of her true self. (which after the studio screwed her they tried to duplicate this and couldn't).
one last thing: she was an actress women loved and men hated. i respect her immensly if for no other reason than she refused to do "diamonds" the studio tried to force her and she told them to deport her and then called in sick everyday (while attending all views etc.... blatently) and only renewed her contract if the studio agreed to make queen christina.
(she was 12% of the studio income through her career.)

finished the book!

ok i finished the book, Siberian Education. I loved this book and found it incredibly interesting. the only thing i didn't like about it was that i'm done with it. It also ends in a spot where , to keep from ruining anything, you're thinking.... there better be a sequel but also tells you things that make you think that its not really the plan but maybe is.... The philosophy of this community and even how it varies from village to village but is in such close proximity (physically) is quite interesting. to me. i'll leave my review on library thing but not so detailed. it seemed to me to pull itself away from everything else, it's hard to explain but if you think about their philosophies, how they lived and all of it together it is kind of surreal. i would say ben might really love comparing the philosphy of the book. it takes you though many generations of philosophy. what they tried to pass down... see i'm just not getting it across. so....

i think ben would find different philosphies of life and their beliefs interesting. They do bring up matters of generations back as well (you know ben likes the old stuff) and to me the region it's in might cross with some of his studies...... mudder will love the history and learning of the people. they seem to be set apart to me and i think she'll find that fascinating..... dani will just drink it in because it could be a hummanities project.....
so what i'll say is this. it's a quick easy read. it's interesting and done in such a way that you just flow with it. i had some things, or impressions geneology wise (i know we aren't part of that tribe) but would love to discuss it with other family members who have read it to see what thier feelings are and if they picked up or it twinged the same area of the brain as me.....

so i'm taking it to mudder next week and then dani has dibs, ben i heard its on your want to read if you wanna wait i'll mail it to you when everyones done.

p.s. just remembered that he started at the end so sequel talk was incorrect i suppose. would still love the inbetween to read however.

update on my life:
these new pills seem to be working but lets just put it this way- they make me feel like crap. i didn't even put together that the pills were getting to me until i had to do some paperwork with the side effects and some beach! there were all my symptoms. flue symptoms, fever chills difficulty breathing (can cause upper respritory infections) headache and i swear i'm getting brain cramps from it. i didn't take one day and head felt better, took today and is twinging so by tomorrow if it gets bad again i wont take them. not sure pcn will cover them anyway but they work so well on my sugar... crap, what do you do...... hmmmm coma? or stroke?   lol

Life in general

hey just dropping a line to complain and tell something i'm excited about. yeah dropped my sugar at the store and had to bust open some peanut butter cups, even had employee ask if i was ok but really it wasn't that bad it was just barely starting to drop. decided on my way home that i need to come to terms with the fact that i'm just going to feel like schiesse forever. i'm under a medication change and i think it's going to work really well but i'm also having a hard week. the sucky thing is can't tell if it's the alteration of meds (because even if they work better i take so damn many pills it's still and adjustment), or that i'm sick (like to get walking pneumonia and my lungs are shot lately. but everyones alergies are all over the place lately even toby's and i'm smoking a ton til the wellbutron gets back in my system so who knows) or the lack of b12, i don't digest any b vitamins so i was out just a couple of days but who knows. anyway i'll shut up now but i'm so so so so sick of it all. one plus is the pills so far are going to make me not have to eat every 2 hours, i may only have to eat every 3 or 4, although the dr thursday did say i'd lost another 4 pounds but i swear i'm rounding out, so probably lost muscle and turned to fat lol, gotta love it.

so on to the good thing... i got my review book, Siberian Education. so far i can't put it down. it is unbelievably good and would be one in my permanent library. i have to say dani has to read it for the humanitarian aspect. mother for the historical and the great benny k for the philosophical. i'm not going to say much about it but may post my review to re-enforce things if it stays this good. and such an easy fast read. if i had to write a review now i could never do it justice but i will say that the philosphies and beliefs that are part of the community and culture in this siberian town are incredibly profund and should be a must read for everyone. even if you disagree with some aspects you can't look at it and say that's messed up, you would have to tip your hat and say, damn.... my hats off to you and the world can take a lesson. mind you i say this even though the entire community are "crimminals". i am in no way comparing even remotely but i grew up in a bad neighborhood and can sympathize completely, however be it ineffeciently, with the law issues. i have had friends and watched people i knew well or not at the other end of the stick, being beaten to a pulp with no recourse but to bleed. however i do have to say that just saying that makes the book sound completely different than it really is. so far, it is an unbelievably good story, and it's true and raw and so well put. it is art.

ok so i'm probably not coming down to salt lake this week but i'm preety sick. as usual weak and tired and unable to stay awake or function well at all. not to mention all the other physical fun stuff. i'll call littleman on wednesday and talk to him for awhile. and by the way wanda sykes is on tv and i just want to say shes not on my list of actors but should be, i just love her and she is so, i don't know, a great person and stands up openly for her beliefs, at least more than most. i really love her.

have a good night and mudder i'll call you tomorrow.

Doctor

well went to the dr today so figured i'd do a post. went well. trying new meds again. there's a new diabetic med that seems to be working for people (so ok, not brand new) that were going to try. the continuous bottoming out isn't good so hopefully this will work better. I'm having trouble with the glimperide stuff, it's a pill that inhibits my liver from producing sugar (of course i'm really bad) anyway this other one helps regulate but doesn't inhibit so shouldn't be bottoming out so much. i could try something called a gluberide (????) but is older and doesn't work so well. anyway will go back in a month and see where were at. had a lot more to say but have forgotten now. gotta love it.... this also makes you stupid and i just keep getting dumber every day.... tired of the fatique too lol.... so done.
it's been good to see mudder, dani and dylan...... we all played with littleman yesturday and that was awesome!! can't say enough about him.....

MOVIE BLOG!!!!

brandys started the coolest thing!! you gotta check it out, it's a movie blog, YEHAW!! heres the link
http://groups.google.com/group/rentalmoviebloggers    
just put in your gmail address or whatever and then pick to join group and a name for you and you can be part of the group!! so awesome i love it and she has a couple reviews on there already. so awesome!! ben should especially be interested i would think!! i've been wanting something like this for some time. so happy she's done it!!!!

life

hey everyone... nothing really to say but life in general. fell asleep today and woke up 3 hours later with a 56 sugar. took 2 cups of juice and 3 peanut butter cups to get it back up to 85. now i feel like complete dog doo of course. we saw brandy's family from out of town yesturday it was nice. i love her grandma and all her family actually. not used to have inlaws that even if they don't like you respect your position. although they are all very good at faking they like me and that's an even new position for me. but i do love it. her grandma is great, i'd love to hook her up with mudder. i think they'd love each other.
anyway. sorry about all the trouble ben and happy birthday melanie. glad life is ok for you but really bummed they're keeping him until sunday. hang in there. thinking about you all, always. later.

library thing

hey, i get to review a book... Siberian Education by Nicolai Lilin  i'm quite excited and can't wait to get it. sorry dylan and dani are sick. looks like i won't get littleman. very bummed. let's see ok, maybe i'll post some old crap i wrote 10-20 years ago.....

shit and now i can't find them. probably threw them out when i was cleaning, done it before %*%&^$
they were actually not to bad too. have something a bit more recent but not as good. crap, disappointed again..lets see...
it sucks because they were shorter poem types and songs that were really quite good and they are nowhere so probably gone. they were the ones i read and thought wow, these are pretty good. the ones i have now have good parts but not so much overall but here's one anyway...

k this one is called "Brocken Prophecy"....

I'm fallin' and broken
with nowhere to go
The breath that's inside me
has now stopped to flow

The jagged pieces are falling
straight through my heart
With so little left
how do they hit the mark

Oceans of  living
and depth of pain
clouds all forgotten
never to rain

nowhere to go... but into the depth
the ancients bowed down... but then only wept
the heavens have closed... the angels have slept
feeling the sand giving way... as the nothingness crept
    The nothings not empty and it never ends
    You choke and you bleed, you'll never pretend

The clock strikes 13th hour
The sun is now dark
and that would be heaven
compared to my heart

posting writting

I just wanted to say, mostly in case i forget and do it anyway. I was telling mudder just thursday that i had run into some stuff i wrote like in my twenties i think. that i was thinking of posting them every now and againish. but now ben has done it. not only is his so way much better, i don't want him to think i was copy-ing him. just thought i'd through that out there.
oh and ben, i watched a movie called "Wild Target"... loved it. just a simply little comedy that so reminded me of you. i mean that like myself you would probably really apprciate the humor. not roll on the floor funny but subtle frickin funny, you know?
anyway, later.

Pictures

ok, this is so in a rough draft stage.. also i don't have pics of the whole family, or on computer joanna jeff and rayne together so this is make do for the time.

again thanks mudder, couldn't make it without you!

koast the wave

this picture makes me want to be out there so bad... (my profile pic not the background)... i've written about 20 times to describe the feeling but i realize you can't. you have to know it. and once you do, you never wanna come back in. it makes you just be.